New Website

From January 2011 all posts will be made on my website www.bernardtoutounji.com Hope to see you there!

When Life is Like an Ipod

As I write this I am sitting on a train and the girl next to me is listening to her iPod. She is flicking through her playlist to find a song that she likes, however it seems that just because she starts a song does not mean she will finish it. Some songs get ten seconds of play time, some get a minute, but it seems she is not satisfied with the level of enjoyment she is receiving from her playlist (which I assume is made up of songs she herself selected).

This inability to be satisfied is not limited to this young lady nor is it limited to iPods. This is an age which had a general inability to commit, but perhaps more to the point; this is an age that must be continually entertained.

Commercial radio believes that any piece of music needs to be three minutes or less for fear that we will not ‘commit’ to the song; one day cricket is becoming increasingly popular at the expense of test matches which require several days of investment; the TV remote control reminds us that there might always be something better on the next channel.

The problem is that when the highest value in one’s life is immediate gratification we lose the ability to persevere. After all, why spend the afternoon cooking over a hot stove when we can simply reheat a frozen meal in the microwave?

Life however is not a microwave, nor is it an iPod or a remote control. Life will not always entertain. There will be times that are joyous and there will be times that are difficult. Life will not always give, so that we can simply lie back and receive.

If we have an inability to look at the bigger picture of life and understand the overall good, then every inconvenience, every suffering, every second listening to a song we do not like, become moments to be avoided at all costs.

Now of course this is not to say we must delight in everything we do, but we do need to have an awareness of when we are becoming too quick to ‘change songs’. Life is full of ups and downs, they cannot be avoided.

What happens for example, when two people who are always used to ‘changing the channel’ get married? What will happen when the inevitable trials of life come upon them? Will they have the ability to see the greater good and sacrifice immediate self-gratification for the greater good of the other person or the relationship as a whole?

Once we have become serial ‘channel changers’ we find that nothing satisfies. There may always be something better; there may always be more fun to be had elsewhere.

Real and lasting joy however can only come through perseverance and commitment to the task and duties before us. Would Sir Edmund Hillary have reached the top of Mt Everest and been able to appreciate its views if he was seeking immediate pleasure every step of the way?

So go on…think about getting yourself in training. Go for a long walk in the mountains; bake a cake from scratch; listen to an entire symphony. Experience the fullness of the beauty in the world around us. And most importantly; stop flicking though the songs on your iPod!

Theology of the Body

If you have read my posts below on the Theology of the Body course I undertook in the USA in January you will realise how much it blew me away. I was such a transformative expereince that I really want other Australians to have this rich expereince and bring it back home. So a few interested people from around Australia are getting together a group to travel to the US and participate in the one week intensive course in January. Watch our little video below...if you're from Australia, join us, if you're from somewhere else, join us anyway! And spread the word. More info in the video...

Home at last

Well it has been an amazing and blessed month. I saw a sampling for so many places in Europe and the USA, so many places of spiritual and historical significance. I met some wonderful people and some interesting people. One thing I did realise is that whereever you go, people are people and they all desire the same thing, they wish to raise their families and live their lives in peace and harmony.

Some of my favourite places include Assisi in Italy, Vallendar in Germany (Schoenstatt) and Lourdes in France. New York was a loud and fascinating place, it was the America of the movies but even that I realise is but a small part of it.

The course that led me on the trip in the beginning was absoultely amazing. I have written a fair bit about it but much of it is beyond words. It was a real time of grace and blessing for me and I pray I will keep what I learnt close to me, not only as a begin to write the thesis to finish my Masters but also as I move through life. I will hope to return there again to undertake further courses and also bring others with me.

I have just uploaded some of the photos to Facebook and you may be interested to have a look at them here.

I have to say though that as wonderful as travelling is the best part is returning home. When I got out of Sydney airport and took a breath I realised that I was home, the air is different, it is Australia. I think that leaving your home make one appreciate it even more.

So I feel that the way to end with this song because it is the one that stikes me as saying what I would like to say. God bless the world and God bless Australia!

Powerful Thoughts from Theology of the Body

For the the Theology of the Body week was transformative. I knew what TOB was but spending this week in Pennsyvania where the theology was so integrated with the heart (sacraments, prayer etc) really had a powerful effect. I wish I could bring everyone on this course, the teaching the TOB and understanding ourselves as God created us is so healing and powerful. I wanted to share some of my notes from the week (I have 20 pages) so have narrowed down some of the points and tried to sort them into rough headings. I know I am not doing these comments real justice by throwing them in like this with no foundations but some of the ideas spoke very much to my heart so I hope some of them might speak to you. This is not even the beginning, I really desire to be able to get TOB known in Austraia more. I encourage you to google 'Theology of the Body' or check out this page with articles by Christopher West. It is profound stuff!

LOVE…

The culture says that love is not possible, that we are not worthy of a love that dares to encompass us, just settle for the food in the dumpster. The culture tells us that there is no banquet…but as Christ said, ‘in the beginning it was not so’. Christ died and rose to restore creation to the purity of its origins. The Immaculate Conception is the sign that redemption worked, perfectly given and received. To say that we cannot overcome our lusts is to say the cross did not work, the journey is difficult but it will lead to resurrection. Living true love is a journey that is totally sustained by grace.

The love of man and wife is redemptive, the love they share is meant to be a symbol of Christ’s redemptive love. A man who truly loves will be able to heal the hurts of his beloved and the woman who loves will be able to heal the wounds of her beloved

It is written into a women’s heart to yearn for a man who will love her like Christ loves, someone who loves her as if she were the only women who would only exist. Not only is it women though who desire this sort of love but men actually desire to die for their women. It comes out in music and in film and art. The man however can doubt that he has this ability and the woman can also be led to believe that there is not really any man out there to love them unconditionally or they feel unworthy of hey meet someone who desires to love them in that way. This being said, as desirous as we are to live these ideals we will always fail from time to time, we are fallen and wounded

Listen to the novels, the movies, the music…every good story tells this story; everyone is longing for love. That love we are aching for though is beyond ourselves, we are seeking for the infinite exchange of love. When we seek the answers in finite things it results in addiction. Addiction demonstrates we yearn for something that never ends, that is a good yearning. When we sin we are looking for something good but sin is less than what will satisfy us

MAN AND WOMAN…

Our creation as man and woman is a window into heaven, it is an icon, it gives us the vision into understanding and living in heaven. When the image of man and woman is so distorted though The enemy leads us to believe that we cannot reach the beauty of heaven, we run the other way. But our humanity is deeper than the original sin that wounds us; we know we are created for more, listen to the echo in our hearts.

GOD THE FATHER…

Many of us carry a ‘father wound’, we mistake the love of God the Father and see him as a tyrant instead of the origin of every good gift. All of stand before the Father with one of two postures, receptivity to the gift or grasping at the gift. Mary is the model of receptivity towards the gift. If we don’t believe God is a loving Father, we will reach out to take what we want for ourselves.

Since the fall we have all taken the posture of fear before God, we have become spiritually naked. The Lord wants to remove the stone, like he removed the stone from the tomb of the dead Lazarus. There was the scent of death but from that the Lord brought forth life. We must all know our need to remove the stone.

SHAME…

A woman will cover her body if someone bursts into the bathroom, why is this? It is because she does not want to be seen by someone who may not see her for who she is. She carries an echo in her heart that she is not to be used. Adam and Eve covered themselves because they were not totally depraved, the felt natural shame, a good shame. Nakedness without shame is what we are called too and we can taste that to some level in an authentic marital relationship, we can also see that in art. We are not ashamed of the body but of the concupiscence through which it might be viewed. Marriage is the place in which shame is to some degree taken away, shame is absorbed by love.

CHASTITY…

True chastity is not perfected by never being alone together before marriage, a couple need to practice to control themselves. If a couple do not, they will not be able to exercise true chastity within marriage. We remain in chains. If we are slaves to sin we will see freedom as indulging in our desires to sin. We can walk on water if we keep our eyes on Christ.

Women do not want a man who cannot control his sexual desires. If he cannot say no then his yes means nothing; woman just becomes an outlet for him to indulge his lusts. On the contrary women need to be careful to not see their husbands as merely a means to fulfil a desire for children

MARRIAGE…

If you think you can never be happy unless you are married then you will always be disappointed. Those who are not married can be truly happy. Married people will never be completely happy in this life, they will never be able to fulfil all their spouses desires, as ones ultimate happiness can never come completely come from their spouse. Couples must learn to let go of the idolatry and expectations that they need to fulfil all the needs of the other person. Marriage is an icon, not an idol. Marriage and procreation is the historical dimension of the desire for heaven. The sexual union and communion of marriage is meant to point us to the communion of heaven.

The marital embrace is the opportunity to bring about the creation of another human being. All sexual sin is the attempt to grasp at the ecstasy without the agony. This is not to condemn anyone but to be awakened to the depth of grace we are offered. The dissatisfaction that so many marriages suffer is at the most basic root the rejection of the explosion of sexual love that is meant to be. Contracepted sexual union does not heal anything but it pours salt on the wounds.

Christ wants to enter a marital relationship with us; if we miss that we miss it all.

GOD’S LOVE…

We yearn for forgiveness of sins but that is not the end, it is only the beginning, what God wants is to have us sit down with his at the banquet. Even though we have offended God we are constantly invited not just to sit down with Him to a meal but to become part of His family.

SEXUAL UNION...

Sexual union is meant to proclaim the whole depth of God’s mystery, from creation to redemption. When spouses proclaim the language of their body, they perform an act of prophecy, they point to the communion of the Trinity. The question is as to whether or not the couple allow their union to have the character of a truthful sign. The Church imposes nothing on us when she says sexual love is meant to last forever. The Church wants all people to experience the love they long for. Do not give yourself sexually to another unless they have given themselves to you forever and that is…marriage. We are all looking for true love and when we don’t find it, it rips us apart.

Everything the church says about sex is this; don’t settle for less than what you really desire. The Church does indeed have a high view of sexual love and that can only be lived out by correspondence with grace. Through Christ there is always the possibility from error to truth and from sin to chastity, always an expression of a life lived according to the Holy Spirit In our world sex has become our religion, our idol. But there is a deeper hunger, what the world really wants is union with God but it is disguising it with an attempt at sex

THE SONG OF SONGS (SCRIPTURE)

My Sister, My Bride (Song of Songs 4:9-10). We are too quick in our culture to ignore the importance of having the fraternal theme beneath a relationship. To call a woman ‘sister’ before calling her ‘bride’ has a particular eloquence, it shows the man’s desire is not one of lust but of love. We can see it also when a woman sees in her lover a brother first and foremost, she would not treat her brother as merely a sperm bank or for the sake of financial security.

While there is much vulnerability on the hearts of women, there is much vulnerability on the parts of men initiating the gift. It is a very delicate exchange. If the lover is to enter the garden he cannot knock down the door or manipulate the woman in surrendering the key. The man must entrust himself to her freedom, for she might refuse. The is the risk the man has to take. In total freedom (the Lord will never force us) the beloved will say yes, in total freedom she says ‘I belong to my lover”.

A woman should have a sense of her own mystery and men must respect that mystery, tragically though, the free sex generation has caused many women to no longer appreciate their own mystery as it has been violated and many men to forget their role as true lovers. Forgiveness is needed towards those who offended and used us. The love shown to our violators will be the healing that will allow us to take on our role as men and women and find and live out the love the Lord calls us to

CONTRACEPTION…

If we understand ourselves as mere biology then tampering with our fertility will be no different to clipping our toenails; our sexuality though is meant to be a reflection of the love of God. We can compare any sexual behaviour to God’s love which is free, total, faithful, fruitful and see if that behaviour is authentic. Adultery, masturbation, homosexuality…are these acts that image God’s love? No. Is this meant to condemn anyone…no! It just means we are missing the mark and all of us in our fallen states miss the mark in some way. The important matter is not what our particular wound is but rather if we are willing to let God’s love heal us. We can ask the same about Contracepted sex, does it echo God’s call for free, total, faithful and fruitful love? The answer again…no. Contracepted sex turns the marital act into a lie when it is supposed to be the greatest moment of truth between couples. The thing is modern culture does not really like sex, it is scared of sex. What does our culture like? It likes orgasm. It likes the pleasure, but if we really loved sex we would not seek to alter it at such a fundamental level. There is a scene in ‘Will and Grace’ where a coule are trying for a child and the man says “Now we get to have sex for real”. There it is, right in modern culture, Contracepted sex, is simply not real sex.

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING…

The Catholic Church has never, never, never taught that a couple must have as many children as is possible. This is where true responsible parenthood comes in. Having established that we cannot tell a lie with our bodies, what can we do? What most of us are doing right now…abstain. After all, God himself has not made a woman to be fertile all throughout her life, he is giving us the means for couples to space their families.

Contraception was not invented to prevent pregnancy, we already had a way to do that. Contraception was invented so we don’t need to abstain. Even the feminist Germaine Greer has recently says ‘The pill has called women into call girls to be readily available for meaningless sex’.

The only method of birth control that is in keeping with human dignity is self control. If you cannot say no then your yes means nothing.

The moral responsibility of the number of children a couple has rests in the shoulders of the parents and no one else. This decision must be made in truth before the Lord but it always be carried out using moral means.

The problem with birth control is not that it is artificial. It is not artificial vs natural. We need to talk in regard to contraception vs abstinence. With modern natural family planning methods a couple can be 99% sure about when they are fertile.

Some people say what is the difference between waiting and contracepting? Think then about what is the difference between killing grandma and waiting for her to die. It is the same difference between euthanasia and natural death. In euthanasia and contraception we take the power of God into our own hands. But many now do not even see the problem with euthanasia and that is because they accepted the story of contraception. When one becomes fuzzy on beginning of life issues one also becomes fuzzy on end of life issues.

What is the Theology of the Body??

So the Theology of the Body…what is it? The 'Theology of the Body' is Pope John Paul II's integrated vision of the human person - body, soul, and spirit. As he explains, the physical human body has a specific meaning and is capable of revealing answers regarding fundamental questions about us and our lives:

• Is there a real purpose to life and if so, what is it?

• Why were we created male and female? Does it really matter if we are one sex or another?

• Why were man and woman called to communion from the beginning?

• What does the marital union of a man and woman say to us about God and his plan for our lives?

• What is the purpose of the married and celibate vocations?

• What exactly is "Love"?

• Is it truly possible to be pure of heart?

All of these questions and many more are answered in Pope John Paul II's 129 Wednesday audiences, which were given between the years 1979 and 1984. His reflections are based on Scripture (especially the Gospels, St. Paul and the Book of Genesis), and contain a vision of the human person truly worthy of mankind. John Paul II discusses who man was in the beginning, who he is now (after original sin), and who he will be in the age to come. He then applies this message to the vocations of marriage and celibacy, in preparation for the Kingdom of Heaven.

The Theology of the Body is the answer to the ache that exist in the heart of modern man. It is not about rules but about discovering who we are and in that way it speak to ever person that desires joy, love and truth in their lives. It is such a blessing to be here taking this course, I really would love to bring others on this same course…perhaps a bit of an Australian pilgrimage here in 2010?

My TOB week

The week here has been so amazing, it has been more than a week of lectures but really an immersion in the Theology and an opportunity to change hearts…mine in particular. The content of the lectures has been exactly like a regular intensive lecture series with six hours of talks a day but this is theology taught the way theology should be taught. The Institute has been given permission to reserve the Blessed Sacrament so effectively we are studying in a chapel with the Blessed Sacrament watching over us. There is also a team of ‘pray-ers’ who come to the conference centre and pray before the Blessed Sacrament in another room. They are interceding for those on the course. We have Mass each day as well as confession and adoration time.

Last night we had a penance service. The Theology of the Body TOB team set up one of the rooms full of lit candles and we had exposition of the Blessed Sacrament while eight of the priests on the course heard confessions. We also have some talented musicians (including a classical pianist) who played some beautiful hymns while we were at prayer. For me the time of prayer was a rich time. I don’t know why but I did feel the presence of the Lord which I don’t recall feeling like that for a long time, in fact I don’t recall experiencing His presence so closely since perhaps even before I went into the seminary! It has been a blessing that this course has been set in the midst of a retreat. World Youth Day really wore me down and if it is possible to work too closely with Church related matters then that 12 months was that experience. It was a phenomenal opportunity to help plan the largest faith event in Australia’s history but it took a very deep faith toll on me.

One other things we did yesterday which was a little different was watch the movie ‘The Truman Show’. It really is an powerful movie that shows the strength and created power of human freedom to seek out the truth and also the desire of other forces to keep us trapped in our ignorance. The Christian/anti-Christian symbols are strong and we all had a good discussion after the movie.

I must add a note about how blessed a presenter Christopher West is. He is such a gifted speaker, I would love to be able to captivate people the way in which he does. And oh my gosh the man has a MASSIVE repertoire of music and movies in his head. We will be going through a part of the TOB text and all of a sudden he will launch into a pop sing that speaks so clearly about the particular theme he is on about. He calls all these secular artists ‘twisted mystics’ and if you ever spend a week on this course with Christopher West you will see why. He is all for taking the popular art of the culture and using it to explain the mysteries of Christianity. It is the way Christianity has worked since St Paul used the altar to the unknown god to tell the pagans about Christ.

Post Script

I should have added in the post below that the teachings of Theology of the Body (or indeed Christianity in general) are not meant to condemn anyone. Christ offers his teachings to us as the way to complete joy and we are free to accept them or not, and as much as we desire to accept them we will be given the help to live them out.

God knows that we are a wounded people and it is often difficult to let go of those things which may very well offer us the only certainty and comfort we know. However, it is only in letting go of the half eaten bagel that we are able to use our hands to reach out and partake of the banquet that the Lord has prepared for us.

Everyone is need of redemption, everyone is wounded, one person’s sin may not be another’s but everyone has something that they need to let go of. Let us not hold onto our woundedness, redemption awaits!

Theology of the Body

It is Tuesday afternoon at the Blackrock Conference Centre in Quarryville Pennsylvania. This is day three and we have now had four three-hour sessions. The reason for my overseas trip was this week here; undertaking a one week intensive course in Pope John Paul’s Theology of the Body (TOB). The course is led by Christopher West who for the last 10 years has been travelling the world teaching and popularising that catechesis given by Pope John Paul between 1979 and 1984. The TOB catechesis is made up of 129 general audiences that were given at the Vatican and forms the first major teaching of his pontificate. The course here is being offered through the Theology of the Body Institute

I came here to learn more about the Theology of the Body and to build upon what I had learnt at the JPII Institute in Melbourne. Theology of the Body is what first led me to Melbourne, as I saw (and still see) in TOB the way to reach out to the current generation of Christians, non Christians and atheists. TOB is essentially a catechesis on what it is to be a human person and because of that it is a lens through which to respond to all the questions of the human heart, who am I, why am I here, how can I be happy etc. It is the lens through which to see the entire Catholic faith.

This is not just another lecture series though; it is called a ‘Head and Heart Immersion Course’, that is, the course is about education minds but also transforming hearts and then changing lives. These courses have been running here for a few years. There are people who have come again who have been before and it really has changed lives. One of the things Christopher said at the beginning is that many of us come here with a Petrine (St Peter) attitude, that is to take the message and evangelise the world with it (that’s me) but more importantly we must come to this with a Marian (Mary) disposition, that is, to be in a mode of receiving the gift. After a few sessions though I can begin to see that especially for me I need to be open to receive these messages instead of just compiling more knowledge which is my specialty.

Christopher West is a dynamic speaker in the way of those very charismatic American speakers that you see on TV. They have their message and they believe in it with their whole being and want to share it. West is one of the most sought after catholic speakers in the world today and is akin to Anthony Robbins in his delivery.

Since the late 1960’s for a whole host of reasons there has been a massive amount of dissent from the Church’s teaching on sexuality and morality. The Church’s teachings were nothing new but when the sexual revolution was proclaiming a new Gospel of selfish pleasure and denial of the value of sexuality the Church continued to say that sex is good, holy and beautiful. In 1968 Pope Paul VI re-stated the position that contraception violated the language of the sexual act and was therefore never something that Christians could accept. Until 1930 every Christian church had proclaimed this same truth but between 1930 and 1960 every protestant church changed their position. The Catholic Church however is the guardian of truth and not the inventor of it so she held fast, even though many Catholics, for the first time in the history of the Church openly dissented from the authority of the Pope. Now the Church lives in a position in which many practicing Catholics think contraception is ok and it is a free choice that they are able to make. Not necessarily through their own faults they have been conditioned wrongly and not been led to see the reasons for the Church’s moral position. Many people and the media get very bitter towards the Church’s sexual teaching but we only get bitter against God’s laws when we desire to break them. Perhaps the solution that is not considered is to ask for our hearts to be changed?

John Paul II knew this and hence he gave to the world the Theology of the Body. The brilliance of the TOB is that it is starts with the human experience of what it is to be created as male and female and to sense loneliness and unity in our lives. John Paul uses the words of Christ and returns ‘to the beginning’ to the experiences of our first parents and how they viewed themselves and their sexuality before the fall from grace.

It is amazing as Christopher goes through the presentations how often the participants (there are about 100 of us) can see it as directly talking into their own hearts. There is a modern notion among people that their personal story and yearnings are somehow different and no one else could understand but that is just the individualism that we live in. In truth, men and women share the same longings and have done so since the beginning of time. We are all made in the image of God and this means certain things will always be the same. We will always ling for love and for truth.

The most basic example Christopher uses is to hold up a blank piece of paper and say ‘this is an image of male and female before the fall’. He then crunches it up and says ‘this is an image of male and female after the fall’. There are a number of responses that people make to the crunched up ball of paper; many of us believe that that is what it is meant to be, the frustration between the sexes, the misunderstanding and abuses are what is it like, as good as it gets. In that case just make the most of it and get out as much as you can. Other well meaning (often Christian teachers) have looked at the scrunched up paper, our fallen humanity and sexuality, and taught that it is bad and we should try to free ourselves from the body and live only spiritual lives. Pope John Paul however, in his TOB, looked to the scriptures and the words of Christ and the great mystics and saints to take the scrunched up piece of paper and actually UNFOLD it! Unfold it with the grace of God. We are a wounded people but the good news is that Christ has come to uncrunch the paper and help us live in freedom. This is why this is such a refreshing and unique teaching. This is not repression and this is not acceptance of our state but this is true redemption. It is the only way to live in true freedom.

The modern culture says that love is not possible, that we are not worthy of a love that dares to encompass us. Many of us are taught to just settle for the food in the dumpster, not to believe or hope that there is something better. There are many men and women out there who are too scared to give and to scared to receive, there is a great fear in the hearts of men and women…and I am talking about ‘good’ men and women! We are told there is no banquet or real joy in life so best we cling onto the pithy reality that we have, after all, at least it is real! It is like saying, best to chew on the half eaten bagel instead of looking to the feast that is being offered! But…in the beginning it was not so. Christ died and rose to restore creation to the purity of its origins. To say that we cannot overcome our lusts and selfish desires is to say the cross did not work. Yes the journey is difficult but it will lead to resurrection if we make it in honesty. Ours is a journey that is totally sustained by grace. This is where the message is totally opposite to secular culture, we do not say, I can do all things I put my mind to, but rather, I can do all things with God’s grace!

Our creation as man and woman is a window into heaven, it is an icon, it gives us the vision into understanding and living in heaven. When the image of man and woman is so distorted though Satan leads us to believe that we cannot reach the beauty of heaven, we run the other way. Both men and women are called to drink in the love that Christ offers to us and to allow him to clear out the dirt that coats our hearts. The dirt that clogs our vision can stop us from seeing where it is we are being led and it can stop us seeing the great gifts that God wants to give to us his children. We need to trust that we have a heavenly Father who loves us and wants to lead us to that love, he does not want us to grasp at things, but when we fear we are not loved, we tend not to wait for the good and instead, grab at what we can. The good news is that the echo of who we are still exists in our hearts. We are only a wounded people, not totally depraved. We need to listen to the divine echo that rests within us all. In that echo lies the path to the happiness we long for. Let us leave the half chewed bagel in the gutter and raise our eyes to heaven and cry out to God for the feast!

New York

Massive, huge, colourful, noisy, food, TV, non stop!

(More on this later)

Going now to Mass at St Patrick's Cathedral NYC before we drive to Pennsylavia for my Theology of the Body one week course with Chris West.

Germany

Now this has to be super express as I have to leave in 10 minutes.

So we spent three days in Germany and the first hightlight visiting Vallendar, a small village outside of Frankfurt where the original Schoenstatt Shrine is. It is a little shrine which has become a huge pilgrimage place with replica shrine all around the world where the movement has expanded including two in Aus). We were personaly led around by Sr Angela. We saw not only the original Shrine but the adoration church where the founder Fr Kentenich died and is buried and also a number of other shrines belonging to various branches. I was also able to meet with my friends Maria, Kerstin and Teresia who are from Germany but spend a year in Australia prior to WYD helping with SChoenstatt's preparations. This is one place that I must return.

From there we drove down to Munich and spent some time with my freind Sandra and alos with her family. Had a bike ride through Munich and also most unformtunately caught a stomach bug which tossed me around right into New York (esp on the plane over).

A wet day in Rome

It's been so busy I haven't even had time to blog (I'm not sure if this effects a readership of 3 people or 3000 people but either way, my apologies). Better make this the express version.

On Tuesday 28th we had a day in Rome and the attempt was to see the Vatican Museum as well as St John Lateran's and St Mary Major's. It was pouring rain and we lined up for 3 hours in a slow moving queue but just as the gate was finally in sight what should hamper us but...the Italian siester! What a joke! An international museum and the whole line is dismissed so they can all go home for a piece of pizza and a brief sleep! Oh well. As that day also happened to be a free day they did not open after the siesta so there would be no museum :(

We did make it to the above mentioned basilica's though which were all beautful in their own rights.

That night I prayed a final rosary in St Peter's Square, waved goodbye to lights on in the papal apartment and went back to our accomodation.

Venice

We finally arrived into Venice around 11.20pm that same night. It was a long trip from Assisi and the train was hardly the Orient Express so we were both glad to say goodbye to that one. (After that stunning first class train ride from London to Paris it will be hard to travel on a regular train ever again!) We had to catch a vaporetto (a water bus) from the train station to our accommodation but of course the vaporetta only took us half way and it was 50 minutes before the next one came, and it was freezing! We found shelter in a small restaurant and ordered a hot drink although we were told we could not stay long as were only ordering a drink (I don’t see the problem, it’s not like they were beating back the customers at that hour and I would figure better to get 10 Euros from us than 0 Euros from an empty chair but perhaps that is why I am not in business). I was very impressed though that finally here was a place that knew what a hot chocolate was! I had tried in other places to order this apparently exotic drink as all I ended up with was a flat white. This hot chocolate though was one of those really think hot chocolates, like the Spanish ones you can get at San Churros (a choc place like Max Brenners).

So we drank our drink and got back on our way, by the time we found our accommodation though and actually got to bed it was after 1am so it was a well deserved sleep. We were booked to stay in a religious house but it is right across the way from a hotel that looks after the accommodation at the religious house and since that was full they put us up in the hotel which was very nice, it had damask walls! (I didn’t know what a damask wall was until I got there but I quite like them, basically it’s like a fabric padded wall paper…very regal!

Venice is a place that sells truly different things. From handmade paper and glass products to handmade masks and baroque style lamps and cushions, there are some very beautiful items available. In fact if you want to decorate your house in style, I would advise you to get a ticket to Venice! Around every corner and up every little alley way is another store selling something original and just a hint, never think that the store you are in will be the last one to sell that particular item!) I did meet one particularly lovely lady who was helping us in one of the stationary shops we went into, but the problem with meeting someone in Venice is that there is little point asking them out for coffee as you’ll be 14000kms away when it comes time for a second date! So we paid for our items and left the girl from Venice in Venice.

Of course the other reason people come to Venice is to experience the romance if the canals and gondolas. The little canals are particularly photogenic but we decided against forking out for a gondola ride, Fr Richard had been on one before and my life would go on without one. Actually, it just occurred to me! I should have asked stationary shop girl on a gondola ride! Oh well, I’m typing this on the train and we are moving fast towards Rome…next time I’m in Venice!

Shopping, canals, gondolas and of course St Marks square, so named for the Byzantine styled St Mark’s Cathedral. The cathedral from the outside is attractive but the inside is a bit dark and in need of a clean but it certainly was worth dropping by to admire the mosaics and pay a visit to the Lord.

I think I’m going to end this one here, I have a headache and I might try and close my eyes before we get back to Rome.

Until next time.

Assisi and Saint Francis

Friday the 26th was Boxing Day and Fr Richard and I were scheduled to make a two day trip to Assisi and Venice. We left Rome about 9:30am and three hours later the train pulled into Assisi. There was some beautiful mountain scenery from the train but I think this was the coldest place we had been too so far, it was very very chilly!

Assisi is of course the birth place of the great saint Francis and the birth place of the Franciscan spiritual family. The mission of St Francis is one that continues to touch the hearts of many and vocations to the friars have continued when many other orders experienced vocational droughts. Before going up to the actual town of Assisi on the mountain we walked over to the Basilica of Mary of the Angels. This Basilica is built right over the top of the little chapel in which St Francis was given his vocation from God and where he began to receive friars. The little chapel sits right in the middle of the basilica and would once have been surrounded by forest. We shuffled in to kneel where the saint would have kneeled, and asked his intercession. The basilica itself is beautiful. It has a different feel to the many churches that we have visited in Rome. Each one of the churches we have visited has its own beauty but this one seems more peaceful. It has stunning frescos on the walls like the other churches in Rome but I don’t know what it was, it was just a special place.

We then got a bus up the mountain to the town of Assisi. I don’t know how you differentiate, it is all Assisi but the area up the mountain is like the Franciscan heart of Assisi. The town is more than just churches, there are hotels and houses and restaurants but it all operates in the shadow of the Basilica of St Francis. In this Basilica, in the crypt below the main crypt lays the tomb of this simple saint. The altar and dome of the basilica sit directly over his tomb in the same way that the altar sits over the tomb of St Peter in Rome. It was really great to be able to see his tomb, it is basically a stone coffin which looks like it lies in the space of a cave and you can walk all the way around it. In the niches of the stone many people place photos of their loved ones, asking for the intercession of St Francis. One can’t light a votive candle before the tomb but instead you bring an unlit candle to the front and put it in a basket where the friars light them as the altar candles on the altar which sits against the tomb.

There is also the opportunity to visit a couple of pivotal places in the life of Francis. One is the rose garden. The story goes that in the midst of a particular set of temptations against purity Francis threw himself into the rose bushes and was granted the gift of purity from that moment on. One can now take a leaf from the rose bush attached to a little holy card and people have found it to be a help and reminder in their own times of trial. A little further down is the cell in which Francis died. When he was dying he asked to be placed in the lowest and simplest place and so his fellow friars brought him to this cell which is partially below the ground, it is only about a metre high but he died there in the way he had lived, simple humility.

Like all the other religious places there are a thousand souvenir shops and we stopped into see what they were selling. There are some cute little statues of St Francis with the animals and there are also coloured tiles of various scenes as the times are the specialty in that part of Italy.

We only had five hours in Assisi before we were back on the train headed for Venice so we unfortunately did not have time to get to San Damiano church or the church of St Clare but I really liked Assisi, it is a deeply spiritual place.

A Day in Paris

Monday was our day in Paris. The place we were staying was the monastery of the Blessed Sacrament Fathers which is very close to the Arc of Triumph and the Champ Eleyeese which is the ritzy shopping strip of Paris. We wandered down this street and on into one of the major parks (I realise this is terrible that I am not giving any names but naturally they are all in French and I can’t recall what they are called, sorry).

We saw the standard French sites such as the Eiffel Tower but also beautiful Catholic places such as the Notre Dame Cathedral and the chapel that was built by King Louis to hold the relics of the Passion, pieces of the cross Christ was crucified on. The relics were no longer there but the main attraction now is the architecture which is really stunning. It was build at a time when they had just discovered how to make use of more glass in buildings by transferring the structural support to outside pillars and this chapel is absolutely amazing as it is almost all stained glass. It was overcast the day we were there but when the sun is shining through it must be absolutely amazing!

Getting from London to Rome that evening was an ordeal. We flew so as not to waste time but I think now that when it comes to short flights it really is easier to drive…there are no metal detectors and no flight delays! We had to catch two planes, London to Zurich and one hour later, Zurich to Rome (I can now say I have been to Switzerland). Every airport seems to have its own regulations regarding security, some we have to take the laptop out and some we don’t, we had never had to take shoes off but at London we did. I mean what is the point of taking them off before the machine has gone off? They have everyone undressing when very possibly many of them would have been able to go through. I wonder if they just like the power of being able to reduce everyone to barefooted and beltless individuals; for the time at security, no matter who you might be, you are at their mercy! I had to take my shoes and belt off at London and then again at Zurich but at Zurich he still was not happy so took me behind the curtain and frisked me for any weapons I may have been concealing. And the more I told him we were late (our flight from London was an hour late in leaving) the slower he went! I didn’t even have time to dress after that, so with shoes and belt and jacket in hand I ran all the way to the boarding gate and onto the plane!

The Eternal City

Buon Natale from Rome! Apologies for being a bit late on the blogging about Rome, at first I had trouble finding an internet café and then realised we have a computer right where we are staying, apart from that though…I’ve been busy seeing the sites!

We arrived into Rome late on Monday night and as we came up the Via della Conciliazione the dome of St Peter’s Basilica was immediately before us. At night I think it is even more impressive with the lights positioned to highlight the architectural features. The dome comes out as a blue glow which complements the gold cross on top and the white stone pillars. As our taxi whizzed past the lights in the papal apartment were still on and it was somewhat consoling to know that the Vicar of Christ was still up working while the city of Rome went off to sleep.

Tuesday was our first full day in Rome and we spent most of it in St Peter’s. We were in the basilica at 7.30am that morning as many priests come in to say private Masses between 7 and 8am. As soon as we walked in the door who do I spot also walking in but Monsignor Millea who is one of the papal MC’s. I met him in the preparation for and week of World Youth Day so it was really nice to be able to chat with him again post event.

After breakfast we returned to the basilica for a proper visit. Fr Richard led me through a very thorough and interesting tour of the largest church in the world. I have to admit though; I really thought it would be much larger inside but I am told the perspective is designed in such a way that it gives the impression of being smaller than it actually is. When you do look up and see the rail where people walk around the inside of the dome it becomes a little clearer how massive it really is. This is the church of all Christians and there has been a church in this spot since the 3rd century. The current basilica is about 500 years old and it replaced the one before which got demolished as it was too small (it was still massive but just not as massive as this one). The basilica and the Vatican sit atop what was once a cemetery and it was in that cemetery that St Peter, the first Pope, was buried. In the afternoon we were thankfully able to take the scavi tour which takes you beneath the high altar of the basilica right to what they confirmed in 1950’s were most likely the bones of St Peter. The current high altar is the fourth on top of St Peter and in the tour we saw and heard the story of how the small grave that St Peter was in gave rise to a monument in his honour and then eventually the church that stands in that place today. It was amazing to see crypts that were 2000 years old and then to see the place that St Peter was buried.

One other very noticeable thing about the Vatican is the people that come to visit and pray there. Every race, culture and age comes to Rome to enter into the heart of the church. It has been a moving experience to encounter the faith of so many people, especially during the Christmas midnight Mass. I got down to the Vatican about9pm to line up for midnight Mass and I reckon I would have been about 1000th in the queue. They line us up in one big circle round the square (ironically the ‘square’ is a circle) and about 10.15pm the doors are opened and everyone, young, old, nuns, brothers and priests all run for the entry. You do have to have a ticket to enter but I think they print off more tickets than there are seats! I was happy though, I got about half way down the basilica. Mind you the Mass is a bit of a tourist attraction and an opportunity to see the Pope so the entry procession is more like the red carpet at the Oscars, cameras everywhere! I think it wouldn’t hurt to ban cameras at the midnight Mass as it might have the effect of getting rid of the tourists so that there is more room for that faithful and it becomes the truly spiritual occasion it is meant to be. It was however a beautiful liturgy and I am very glad that I was able to attend.

Christmas Day in Rome was overcast and cool. My first appointment of the day was with the Holy Father as he gave his ubi et orbi address (to the city and to the world). I have yet to download the English text from the Vatican website so I’m not too sure what he said but I believe it was pretty good. I was seated near the front of the square when he gave his address from the logia (the balcony) and I was amongst hundreds of very excited school students from Ireland.

The rest of the day was an easy one which was nice. I went back inside the Basilica and was going to spend some time in the Blessed Sacrament chapel but it was unfortunately closed so I had another look around. Really the whole place is one big prayer and to walk around with that in mind brings about a different experience to going around with a camera. The basilica now holds the incorrupt body of Pope John XXIII (+ 1963) which was recently moved from the tombs of the Popes down in the crypt so a lot of people stop before e his earthly remains to ask for his intercession. Speaking of the tombs of the Popes, we also visited the crypt and stopped before the tomb of John Paul II who lay in the spot John XXIII did before he was moved. After the tomb of St Peter, John Paul II attracts the greatest number of visitors and has two men standing guard in front of his tomb all day long. Three is a place where you can stop and pray though and I asked for the intercession of John Paul the great for the many intentions people have asked for and those within the hearts of my family and friends.

Christmas day also saw me walk over to the famed Trevi Fountain where I threw my two cents in over my shoulder (I have been told since the wish is so that you return to Rome, I thought at the time you could make your own wish, oh well we’ll see which happens first). I also had some gelato which seemed like the thing to do there as there were so many gelato shops open. The Trevi fountain sure is a popular place though, the people just pack in and photos are being taken all over the place. I noticed that the fountain was built by one of the Popes so it must have some sort of church-related history attached to it as well.

Return to Paris

Sunday evening saw us back in Paris and yet again Fr Richard had some great plans of what to do with the evening. First we caught the metro (extensive underground train network) out to have a look at the famed Moulin Rouge. It seems many people do the same thing, all standing across the road from the windmill snapping themselves and their friends in photos.

We were only there a few minutes and then got back on the subway to see the church of St Madeline which is built in a style of an ancient Roman law court with grand stone pillars all the way around. This church was just around the corner from the Paris Opera House so we stopped for a photo there as well. The opera house is very beautiful with gold statues along the top, a very imposing building. We had a very exquisite dinner across the road from the opera house at a place named Café de la Prix (it’s certainly no café). By the time we got home it was after midnight and we had certainly packed in as much as we could into that Sunday.

Lourdes

Today (Saturday) Fr Richard and I headed to our first pilgrimage destination – Lourdes. Lourdes is a small village about eight hours out of Paris and its claim to fame is that in 1858 the Blessed Virgin appeared to a young peasant girl Bernadette. Our Lady asked Bernadette to come there over a period of time and told the girl that she was the ‘Immaculate Conception’. This title also confirmed the dogma that had been proclaimed four years earlier of Mary being conceived without the stain of Original sin.

We made our way early in the morning via taxi to the airport to take a small plane to Lourdes. As we were only staying overnight we packed all our things into a small backpack each and planned to just take it on as hand luggage. Once we had checked in we went through customs but our bags were sent onto the ‘problem’ conveyor belt and when the staff opened them they told us (actually they don’t really say anything they just do what they want) that some of our items would be confiscated as they were too large. I had a new tube of shower face wash and also a new tube of shower body wash which I just got as a gift and Fr Richard had a new bottle of shampoo. We did not have time to go back and check in our bags so they went into a big bin that said ‘These items are destined for destruction’, just a little melodramatic I thought! So anyway, not overly pleased, we moved onto the plane.

Arriving in Lourdes just after 11am we found a taxi with a couple of others heading into the town and got on our way. David the taxi driver dropped us off at our hotel which is just a 5 minute walk from the sanctuary of Lourdes. Lourdes is an actual town and it is where Bernadette lived. The apparition occurred just a little distance from a river and it is on that site that now sits a massive basilica and to the left of that is the small cave grotto where approximately 5 million people (9 million this year for the 150th anniversary) come each year to see the spot where heaven came down to visit earth. When you enter the forecourt of the basilica it is immediately impressive, it almost looks like the castle that is used at the beginning logo of Walt Disney films. It has a massive ramp either side that leads to the top basilica and beneath that is a small crypt and beneath that again in the larger basilica with its beautiful mosaics.

Seeing such beautiful churches that clearly have been designed with such love and devotion it made me think that half the structures we call churches in Australia should be torn down. It’s not just that these churches are so much more intricate it’s that one can see that the church was made to lead people to God. We build churches in Australia that are simply functional buildings; they are halls and contain little or no wonder or awe of the design. It has been a real grace to be able to see such beautiful churches, and I have only seen a couple so far!

Anyway so back to Lourdes, it is an amazing place. It is indeed a Marian place of pilgrimage but it is more so a place of the sacraments, the Eucharist and Confession. On the Saturday we went into the crypt which is structurally the heart of the entire basilica and on the main altar was a beautiful monstrance with a small crowd of people in silent prayer before the Lord. One can really feel the prayers that have been prayed at that spot for so many years. One other beautiful thing is the thousands of small marble plaques of thanksgiving from people all around the world. They are plaques of thanksgiving and may say something like ‘In thanksgiving for assisting my family, 1904’. These plaques date back to the 1800’s when the basilica was being built and are a tangible sign of the graces that have been received from this place.

As beautiful as the basilica is it is the small grotto that drawers the crowds, it is the reason that the basilica exists. The cave would be no more than 10 square metres and when you first see it, can easily think is this it? There is the spot where Our Lady told Bernadette to dig a stream from which flowed the miraculous water (the source if the water is not so miraculous though, it runs from an underground stream from the river), and just above the grotto is the place where Mary appeared and in that place now is a life size statue of the Virgin with the words ‘I am the Immaculate Conception’ In front of the statue back on the ground is a massive votive candle stand in which people place their candles to be burned as a prayer to God.

Candles are a HUGE part of Lourdes. There are thousands of them in kiosks where people make an offering and take a particular size from 30cm to 1.5metres! Just down from the grotto there is a whole row of shelters where people can also place their candles. These shelters have the words ‘this candle continues my prayer’ in many languages. It is indeed that very beautiful catholic tradition of lighting candles as a continuation of the prayer of petition or thanksgiving. I lit my candles for the intentions of family and friends. Catholicism really is a faith that encompasses the whole person, it is not just about the spirit as so many of our protestant friends whole but we seek to make the whole person pray, we have water and candles and incense and bells and oil and bread and wine.

After spending some time there, Fr Richard and I went to have some lunch at one of the open cafes (80% of the shops are closed for the winter) and then bought some items in one of the catholic shops. These are amazing in themselves. There are hundreds of catholic trinket shops selling, rosaries and statues and bottles to fill with Lourdes water and books and holy cards. It is amazing, like some sort of Catholic Westfield! As with the cafes most of these shops are closed but there were still enough open to feed anyone’s religious shopping desires.

Saturday night we returned to the grotto (in the freezing cold) in silence with the few others before the grotto. Even though it is so quiet it is good in that usually one would even have trouble getting a vantage point. I have been able to spend time here praying for family and friends and bringing forth some of the intentions that people asked me to take with me.

Sunday at Lourdes was a little busier that it had been on the Saturday and the streets had noticeably more cars. We attended Mass in the grotto in French in the early morning with about 50 others. We had not had breakfast yet so after Mass found a small café, but as I have since discovered European cafés for some reason only serve food at certain times and on this instance we had fallen outside of these times so we ordered a coffee and a croque which is a piece of bread with cheese and béchamel sauce on top, tasty but not something that would be on the Weight Watchers menu!

One would not want to spend less than two days at Lourdes, there really is so much to soak in and it is a real blessing to not only pray at the grotto oneself but also watch the strong faith of the other pilgrims who have come from every corner of the globe.

London to Paris

Friday 19 December saw us moving from London to Paris via train. We were booked to get the Eurostar at 1100 but no one had told us that that train had been cancelled so along with a number of others we were upgraded to first class on a train three hours later. We decided to use the time to go back into London and see Harrod’s department store (I just remembered we didn’t see the shrine to Diana and Dodi) and also the Brompton Oratory church. This was the most beautiful church I have ever been into in my life. It was designed in a Roman Baroque style and looks very much like St Peter’s Basilica in its style. It is run by an order of priests called the Oratorians who are renowned for their liturgical ability. In fact during the shipwreck of liturgy that was post Vatican II, the Oratorians continued to offer Mass ad Orientem (facing East with the people) even though the Mass was in English. In that practice and many others they became a light for the new liturgical movement which has aimed (and is having success) in bringing the liturgy to the level that was desired by the Fathers of Vatican II (which did not involve guitars, banners or scented candles).

So anyway back to the station after that, boarded the train (just in the nick of time) and began the journey to Paris. And what a delightful trip it was! I recommend first class train rides. It was so peaceful. We watched the country side pass by, picture perfect little villages all with a little church and steeple in the centre of the village. They also served us lunch which was very tasty (I had the pumpkin risotto).

Because we were three hours later than expected though we got a taxi straight to the Blessed Sacrament Fathers house where we are currently staying (as I write this anyway). We got into our rooms and have not left since. It was just nice to be able to sit down and rest after the constant movement that has been the last couple of days. So Fr and I had chat, he offered Mass, and now I am going to bed so I will leave it there but will be happy to take any questions later :)

Old London Town

Spending so much time on Jim has distracted my from the events of London so since I won’t get this up until Monday if I don’t post it now I better list very briefly the places we got too on Thursday : Buckingham Palace, Westminster Catholic Cathedral, Westminster Abbey (Church of England – it was Catholic for several hundred years until it was stolen during the reformation), Big Ben and the Parliament (very impressive) and finally a Broadway show! We saw the ‘Sound of Music’ with my friend Monica from Melbourne. The only thing was that Fr Richard completely slept through the first half and I consistently nodded off throughout the whole show. It wasn’t the show that was a problem but the fact that my body thought it was 7am and was wandering why I still had not slept. (It had been a long day and we were still in the same clothes we had put on Wednesday morning). We stayed with a family friend’s house in South Ealing which was also nice although the visit was very short as we were off the next day to Paris.