I was on the train today coming home and being peak hour the carriage was naturally full with standing room only. I was standing in the aisle and at the next stop a lady came in a stood next to me. She was only middle aged with no visible disability, she was not pregnant and was not carrying heavy bags. There was a man (about 35 or so) who was sitting next to where she was standing and as she came in he offered his seat to her, I was duly impressed. This silly woman though, instead of taking up the mans offer declined and continued to stand. The man repeated his offer but again the women said no thanks.
I was so tempted to turn to her and ask why she didn't take the seat. Perhaps she would have said she felt like standing or perhaps she'd say she didn't want to be treated as someone special. What ever the case, I think she did the wrong thing on two accounts:
(1) The man put himself out to offer her a seat. When someone does something out of the ordinary on a train, it attracts attention, so people were looking at him while he made his offer. When she said 'no', my guess is that he embarrassed. I'm not saying he was ready to cry but I dare say he will think a little longer about offering his seat next time. There are so few men that know how act properly, the last thing we need is men (or women) being discouraged from doing so.
(2) We have a responsibility not just to be charitable to others but to accept the charity of others. Granted, for such a proud and independant people (myself included) receiving is often harder than giving but we must learn to receive the good things that other people go out of their way to offer us. When a person makes us a cup of tea when we don't really want one, or offers us a seat when we would like to stand or waits those extra few seconds to hold the door open for us they are trying to show love in their own way, they are acknowledging us a fellow human being with an innate dignity. Rejecting someones charity (love) when there is no valid reason demeans the person and their act.
If we want a world where people do good things and care for one another, we need to start with thankfully accepting all the little things others do for us. When we can accept love, we will be more able to give it to those who do (and also who do not) deserve our love.
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