Mister Berns

My Thoughts...Straight Out of the Box!

09 May 2007

Top 10 Catholic Pickup lines

For those of you who may be still single and not seeming to have any luck (even after an assortment of prayers and novenas) you may like to try these lines, courtesy of Envoy magazine:

10. May I offer you a light for that votive candle?

9. Hi there. My buddy and I were wondering if you would settle a dispute we're having. Do you think the word should be pronounced HOMEschooling, or homeSCHOOLing?

8. Sorry, but I couldn't help but noticing how cute you look in that ankle-length, shapeless, plaid jumper.

7. What's a nice girl like you doing at a First Saturday Rosary Cenacle like this?

6. You don't like the culture of death either? Wow! We have so much in common!

5. Let's get out of here. I know a much cozier little Catholic bookstore downtown.

4. I bet I can guess your confirmation name.

3. You've got stunning scapular-brown eyes.

2. Did you feel what I felt when we reached into the holy water font at the same time?

1. Confess here often?

Now if these beauties still fail to have any effect it may be time to consider the possibility that you are being called to the religious life ;)